Script To Screen Evaluation

Recreating a scene from a film is a challenging but exciting experience that required a great deal of preparation and, for me, not a lot of outcome of satisfaction due to my lesser amount of work so I could work on my mental health. For fourteen weeks, I have been more in the background for this production whilst I work on my priorities, my stances as a television maker and I have been generously given the opportunity to create a 30-minute chat show with the second year's, meaning I have struggled a bit managing the production of creating a scene from John Wick as the forefront project. This unit was meant to be all about growing and learning more creatively, and in the end it was about finding my place out of a dark tunnel.

After we had decided on a scene to recreate, the first step was to analyse the product and understand the characters, their motivations, and the overall tone of the scene. I had a look through the original script around 3-4 times to try and get a grasp for it, and whilst I only watched a scene once due to my stance on sticking with originality, I still struggled based on the script and how it was going to be done with simplicity. This is around the time that me and Adam discovered our opposing opinions with our direction. From what I gather, I wanted more of a clean and lighthearted approach to the scene to appeal to a larger audience and to also simplify the difficulties that I predicted production could arise with, whilst Adam wanted that more authentic recreation of the scene as close as possible to the original with some line changes and action changes. Both have their pros and cons but this constant disagreement between myself and him caused me a lot of stress, which is entirely my fault. However after doing some reflecting with my family, with Mike and working on As-Live, sometimes things don't go the way I see them. Part of my growth for this unit is understanding that being wrong now is better than being wrong years down the line, adapting to change and getting the job done, whether or not it is the dream idea or perfect shot; working as a team comes first and that is the mindset I am taking going forward, opening my mind and understanding that learning is important. 

Even going into our group presentation, I felt anxious that the team's visions were clashing with my own and this is where again I own up and take responsibility for the disloyal standards that I set. As the original producer and the person on the course with arguably the most experience and knowledge, I should be giving other people help rather than being detrimental and difficult to work with. However the presentation wasn't overly terrible in the end, I found it to be an interesting experience which I actually find very comfortable. I loved speaking and hearing what everyone had to say, whilst also learning who was good at presenting and who had the biggest commitments to the project. Again this is where my frustrations arise as I often felt as though the effort from the group was low. But again, after some learning, I discovered I have been holding myself accountable to the JSV brand name that I had been building up over the course of three years, and the idea that everything of mine has to be better than my last. But I am learning not to do that anymore and the intent is to build a group collaborative experience for all team members to enjoy going forward.

Now I wish I could say I learnt these things later that day and we moved forward, however, I took the wrong route about managing my emotions. Without going into too much detail again, I snapped at two members of the group after overhearing negative discussions about the way I felt about the project. In all honesty, looking back at it, what they said was true and I just didn't want to think that I acted in that manner. I struggle to hear when I do wrong, which is something Kimberley is helping me out with massively at the minute, telling me every time she noticed that I overstepped a line and helping me find that fine line. And to anyone I upset, I am sorry.

The general consensus was that after this incident I would step away from this project to avoid doing any further harm, to myself, to others and to the production. So what did I do during that time, well I kind of did nothing? I still was semi-regularly offering to Kimberley (who took over my role as producer) if there was anything that I could do to input in the background. Well not really, and again, hindsight made me realise this was best. These nine to ten weeks of working more with the second years ended up being the perfect escape for me. I want to be in the studio-based factual entertainment industry more than any other, it is the dream outcome for me, so having that experience was really exciting. And in all honesty, having older people to work with that understood my stresses and the situation that I had gotten myself into was very comforting (they also were desperate for help on the studio floor so I am glad I was there). 

I also had a look into the Film and TV Charity's Glass Report (Film and TV Charity, 2021) which bi-annually does a report on how people's mental health is seen in the industry and what we can do to combat these issues. I really like how this is displayed, of course, showing the impacts of COVID, but also highlighting how widespread these problems were. "In 2019 the Film and TV Charity’s Looking Glass research found that a shocking 9 in 10 of nearly 5,000 respondents had experienced a mental health problem." What I gained from it was the feeling that my issues, which I thought were just mine, are more normal than I thought. Combatting the majority of the mental barriers that I have before truly moving on into the industry is better than feeling these things later down the line which could be detrimental to my career. I had hoped by reading this document I would feel some kind of benefit and relief because I think I am searching for answers which explain to me what makes me different, and I wasn't disappointed with the outcome.

Lastly, I have been looking for what makes me happiest in my life, and I realised that what I needed was assistance to find that. As of writing this, I am awaiting a response from student support on further assistance with moving forward from the problems I am having. With summer just around the corner, I will be working on my own growth within the industry, gaining confidence and prioritising awareness of my existence within the industry. Working on this will not only put me ahead and ready for next year but also gives me something to do over the summer as I am someone who always has a need to work and improve myself and my skill.

After production was complete from the rest of the group, I thought I would have had to complete my own edit. This however ended up not being the case in the end. Lily was kind enough to allow me to contribute to the final outcome by doing the colour correction. Lily's skills are more tuned within Final Cut Pro instead of Premiere Pro which meant she turned to me for assistance with this particular task. As someone who has only got skills in Adobe Creative Cloud this was right up my street and allow me to contribute without having to create my own edit, therefore saving me a ton of time and allowing me a much bigger contribution than I could have asked for. For me, it's a step which may allow me to make amends and keep producing better content going forward as well as being a better contributor and team player. For this colour correction, I used a LUT known as M31, an extremely commonly used and high-end colour correction tool which makes footage far more cinematic. This gave me a brand new perspective on the footage and arguably brought out more of that Neo Noir aesthetic that the group were aiming for.

Aside from that, I overall believe that the experience of recreating a scene from John Wick has been challenging but rewarding. Instead of being about scene recreation, it has been more about self-expression, managing expectations and emotional reactions. A journey of healing rather than a journey of disappointment, stepping out of my comfort zone to recreate a new comfort zone. The moment I feel discomfort is when I react and lose my cool, this is changing, I need to calm down and then sooner realise the actions I make can ripple through the structure of a team and cause distress amongst the class. I know that if this behaviour continues then I will be unable to function professionally within the industry, however changing now, learning about myself and becoming the better person moving forward is all I can do really. I hope that telling a personal story in the next unit will allow these changes to occur, and maybe some solo work might do me some good this time around.

Charity, F. A. T. V. (s.d.) 'Mental Health in the Film and TV Industry after Covid' At: https://filmtvcharity.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/LookingGlassReport_2021_Final.pdf?utm_source=better-mental-health&utm_medium=website&utm_campaign=Looking-glass-21-Report